Author Revealed

About Jon Scieszka

Q. Previous occupations

A. Lifeguard, painter, elementary school teacher.

Q. Favorite job

A. Reading fan mail from 1st graders.

Q. High school and/or college

A. Culver Military Academy / Albion College / Brooklyn College / Columbia University

Revealing Questions

Q. How would you describe your life in only 8 words?

A. Well, I think I would have to say

Q. What is your motto or maxim?

A. Do I Get More Than 8 Words?

Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?

A. Smash! Crash! Oh, I'm sorry. What was the question again? Smash! Crash!

Q. What’s your greatest fear?

A. We hope Jon doesn't find out that his Trucktown pals filled out his Author Questions for him.

Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?

A. Hey Max – stop revving your engine like that. We can't concentrate on the question.

Q. With whom in history do you most identify?

A. I like to dump dirt. Dumping dirt is the most fun. Though digging dirt is a lot of fun too.

Q. Which living person do you most admire?

A. I don't think you really answered that last question, Dan. You are supposed to read the question, then give an answer. But I do like to dump dirt. We know you do. But people want to know who you admire.

Q. What are your most overused words or phrases?

A. Do you want an ice cream? Do you want an ice cream? Do you want an ice cream?

Q. What do you regret most?

A. IZZY! No, we don't want ice cream right now. we are helping Jon answer Author Questions. It's really a lot of fun.

Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?

A. This is not as much fun as knocking down walls. Or putting out fires! Or towing broken trucks. Or smoothing out roads.

Q. What is your greatest achievement?

A. I'm worried I didn't mix enough cement for a good answer. I'm worried no one will like my answer. I'm worried that this whole thing is making me too worried.

Q. What’s your greatest flaw?

A. VVVVRRRROOOOOM!

Q. What’s your best quality?

A. BOOOOOOOOOOM!

Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?

A. Pete! Stop dumping dirt on us! Dan said he liked to dump dirt the most. So I'm helping. You are not helping.

Q. What trait is most noticeable about you?

A. My name is Gabriella Garbage Truck, and I will now show everyone how to correctly answer a question. The trait that is most noticeable about me is that I am very organized and always right. Okay. See? Wasn't that easy? Now Jack – you answer the next question.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional hero?

A. VRROOOOM! VROOOOOM! SCCREEEEEEEEEECH! A perfect spin out!

Q. Who is your favorite fictional villain?

A. DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME? DO NOT SAY BIG RIG'S NAME. OR I WILL HAVE TO CRUSH YOU.

Q. If you could meet any historical character, who would it be and what would you say to him or her?

A. Eenie meanie mynie mo. If you see Big Rig, you should go. He will chase you. Don't be slow. Eenie meanie mynie . . .MO!

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. Do you want an ice cream? Do you want an ice cream? Do you want an ice cream?

Q. What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?

A. The wheels on the truck go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the truck go round and round, all through the tow.

Q. What’s your fantasy profession?

A. I think Jon is going to be very happy that we helped him fill out all of the spaces on his Author Questions.

Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?

A. Vrooom! VROOOOM! ZOOOM! SCREEEEEECH! Yeah, this is kind of fun.

Q. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?

A. Let's see who can jump from this question into the next one and knock it over! Ready, set, GO!

Q. What are your 5 favorite songs?

A. ZOOOOOM! SMASH! CRASH! BAM! Boop. We did it!

On Books and Writing

Q. Who are your favorite authors?

A. Thomas Pynchon for sprawling funny historical scientific fiction. P.D. Eastman for GO, DOG. GO! Terry Pratchett for his wise/funny Discworld series. Ernie Bushmiller for all of SLUGGO. John McPhee George Herriman Robert Benchley S.J. Perelman Will Cuppy David Foster Wallace Elmore Leonard Douglas Hofstadter John Keegan Borges Barth Cervantes Gideon Defoe Graham Roumieu Dr. Seuss Edgar Rice Burroughs Edward Tufte Nathaniel West Robert Coover and a couple hundred others.

Q. What are your 5 favorite books of all time?

A. Grimm's Fairy Tales Gravity's Rainbow Godel, Escher, Bach Don Quixote Krazy Kat

Q. Is there a book you love to reread?

A. All 5 of my all time favorites. GO, DOG. GO! GEORGE AND MARTHA and FROG AND TOAD stories are other regular re-reads.

Q. Do you have one sentence of advice for new writers?

A. Read as much as you can, and then sit down and write.

Q. What comment do you hear most often from your readers?

A. Did your mother drop you on your head when you were little?

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