This book follows Steve Hamilton's addiction through the drug underworld of South Africa, to the time he was pronounced clinically dead, and into the first steps of recovery and the founding of Narcotics Anonymous.

Steve Hamilton is a living metaphor for addiction--and ultimately recovery. A hardened addict in his teens, Hamilton had a heroin habit that led him deep into the drug underworld of South Africa. It took eleven stays at institutions and three times being pronounced clinically dead before Hamilton took his first earnest steps toward recovery. Hamilton eventually became a founding member of Narcotics Anonymous in South Africa and has since counseled addicts in treatment clinics. EXCERPT: "That's the trouble with drugs. None of it is real in the end. The whole thing is one big lie. I wish every day that I could start over, turn back the damn clock and see what the real Steve was like and what he could have accomplished without his dangerous toys and dubious playmates. That's another reason why I want my life back."