Lose those girly cocktails and start drinking like a real man—a real old man!

These Old Man Drinks are guaranteed to put hair on that scrawny baby’s bottom you call a chest. From Boilermakers and Sidecars to Rusty Nails and Satan’s Whiskers, these old-school party starters go down just as rough as they sound. No pink drinks or foo-foo umbrellas here! Just the good stuff—whiskey, rye, bourbon, gin—and some priceless life lessons that only the very old can provide. So man up, quit your bitchin’, and grab a stool, ’cause it’s gonna be a long night.