Author Revealed

About Jonah Winter

Q. What is your birthdate?

A. 3/21

Q. Previous occupations

A. Llama ranch-hand, flower deliverer, children's book editor.

Q. Favorite job

A. Writin'...!

Q. High school and/or college

A. I went to Oberlin College. (I do my best to not think about where I went to high school.)

Q. Name of your favorite composer or music artist?

A. Hildegard von Bingen.

Q. Favorite movie

A. My Winnepeg.

Q. Favorite television show

A. I don't watch TV.

Revealing Questions

Q. How would you describe your life in only 8 words?

A. Waterloo. Maine. Titanic. Siberia. Babel. Postponed. Cancelled. Waddayagonnado.

Q. What is your motto or maxim?

A. If at first you don't succeed, keep trying and trying and trying until you've driven everyone around you completely insane.

Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?

A. Puppies!!!

Q. What’s your greatest fear?

A. You don't really think I'm going to admit this on the internet, do you? (!)

Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?

A. Vilnius.

Q. With whom in history do you most identify?

A. Napolean. No, wait a minute, change that -- Lucille Ball.

Q. Which living person do you most admire?

A. Aung San Suu Kyi.

Q. What are your most overused words or phrases?

A. Ayyyyy...EH?

Q. What do you regret most?

A. The day I first started using the internet.

Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?

A. It's a toss-up -- between piano-playing and tap-dancing.

Q. What is your greatest achievement?

A. Getting up out of bed every morning.

Q. What’s your greatest flaw?

A. Flaws? I have no "flaws"....(!) (Umph humph.)

Q. What’s your best quality?

A. Why I just have so many good qualities, it's hard to even remember them. Hmmm, let's see....

Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?

A. Gene Kelly.

Q. What trait is most noticeable about you?

A. I'm extremely polite.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional hero?

A. Mr. Ed.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional villain?

A. John Wellington Wells.

Q. If you could meet any historical character, who would it be and what would you say to him or her?

A. Julias Ceasar. And I'd say to him, "We've come to cease your berries, not to praise them. Get it? Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. People who text-message while driving. Actually, that's more than a "peeve" -- I'm terrified of these people. "Peeve"...? People who, upon getting to the top of the subway stairwell, stop in their tracks and start texting. In fact, I'll just simply it: Texting. First of all, "text" is a noun, not a verb, you goobers! Secondly, it's a drug! It's addictive! Thirdly, it rots your brain, makes you stupid. Stop doing it!!!

Q. What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?

A. Running around in circles, waving my arms above my head.

Q. What’s your fantasy profession?

A. Lobsterman.

Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?

A. Location, location, location.

Q. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?

A. Free caviar.

Q. What are your 5 favorite songs?

A. I love so many kinds of music, I'm afraid I couldn't possibly narrow it down to 5 songs. Sorry!

On Books and Writing

Q. Who are your favorite authors?

A. Laurence Sterne, James Thurber, Mark Leyner, Franz Kafka, and Gertrude Stein.

Q. What are your 5 favorite books of all time?

A. War and Peace, Don Quixote, Wuthering Heights, Pigs Is Pigs., and Potter's Gamesmanship.

Q. Is there a book you love to reread?

A. Yes, Robert Frost's Collected Poems.

Q. Do you have one sentence of advice for new writers?

A. Put away your i-phone, put away your laptop, turn off that music, shut the door, get out a pad of paper and a pen..., and write.

Q. What comment do you hear most often from your readers?

A. "I like baseball."