The Misadventures of Max Crumbly 2
1. FROM HERO BACK TO ZERO
I knew middle school was going to be challenging, but I never expected to end up DEAD in the computer lab, wearing a SUPERHERO COSTUME, with four slices of PIZZA stuck to my BUTT!
My morning actually started out pretty normal. . . .
Hey, I’m NOT stupid! I KNEW I wasn’t superhero material! But that never stopped me from staring in the mirror and wishing . . .
. . . that one day an average kid like me could actually make a difference. You know, do something great!
Yeah, right! WHO was I kidding?! My situation was HOPELESS! I could never change the world. . . .
But then I had a brilliant idea! Just maybe, I could CHANGE the MAN in the mirror! HOW? . . .
By using my knowledge of anatomy, my awesome drawing skills . . .
AND AN ENTIRE TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE!!
Yeah, you’re right. I guess you could call me kind of . . . WEIRD!
But it’s all GOOD! Most of the famous superheroes and infamous villains are ALSO a little disturbed. So I like to think of it as untapped potential.
You’re probably sitting there wondering HOW I managed to create such a HUMONGOUS MESS (I mean the mess at my school, NOT the mess in my bathroom).
It all started when Doug Thug Thurston shoved me into my LOCKER after school. Unfortunately, I was trapped inside there for HOURS!!
I’m not going to lie to you! I totally FREAKED!
But give me a break!
I was all alone. In a dark and creepy school building. Locked INSIDE my locker.
For possibly an ENTIRE THREE-DAY WEEKEND!
Honestly, dude! YOU would have freaked out too!
Anyway, after what seemed like forever, I finally managed to escape through the ventilation system.
But as I was passing the computer lab, I accidentally stumbled upon three burglars in the process of stealing the school’s brand-new computers! It was SURREAL!
I started thinking about how I’m such a LOSER that kids at school call me BARF because I accidentally threw up my oatmeal on Thug’s shoe in PE class.
Sorry, but if you had seen those pus-filled ZITS on his face up close, you would have thrown up too!
Anyway, I FINALLY had the chance to completely CHANGE my pathetic life. HOW?!
By stopping the burglars and saving the school’s computers while at the same time impressing Erin, president of the computer club!
But don’t get it TWISTED! It’s not like I’m crushing on her or something! I BARELY know the girl!!
And then, B O O M ! !
My rep would BLOW UP, and I’d instantly go from ZERO to HERO!
This, my friends, is the very STRANGE but TRUE tale of how I fought EVIL and INJUSTICE in the DANK, DARK, DANGEROUS halls of South Ridge Middle School.
I’ve documented every detail in my journal, The Misadventures of Max Crumbly, which I keep with me wherever I go. So let’s pick up right where I left off in my last entry. . . .
I had just outsmarted those bungling burglars and was BLASTING through my school like a rocket to go exchange intel by cell phone with my trusty sidekick, Erin! . . .
ME, AS MIGHTY MAX, BLASTING THROUGH THE SCHOOL!!
ERIN, MY SUPERHERO BFF!
Okay, I’ll admit I may have exaggerated a little. This is what REALLY happened. . . .